Speaking without words. We do it everyday whether it is a smile to a stranger to say hello, or a scowl to a child to tell them that you’re not happy with their actions. But did you know you also communicate in even more subtle ways? Sometimes your actions may even be subconscious.
Body Language
Sure we may have heard of it but do we know what it means? One image that comes to my mind, when I think about it is people in the 80′s teaching others how to use body language as sex appeal.
Though there is much more to “body language” then just being sexy. In fact many of us speak to the world everyday by how we hold ourselves and/or expressions on our faces. Exploring only a few of these, try to see if you fit in to any of these categories or maybe their is another type of body language you find yourself speaking.
The Hunch Back
Now please don’t get me wrong. There are people out there that do have spinal issues and I hope sincerely you know I am not speaking ill of them. The ones I speak of are people you may see walking down the street, almost in what looks like a depressed state. Some taller woman may walk around slouched because they feel they intimidate men simply because they are as tall if not taller then them. Others may walk around like this cause they are going through a hard time in their life. I had even caught myself doing it while going through a rough patch in my life. Some actually have been doing it so long they continue to do it even if they are in a good place in their life. They are still telling the world I’m not in a good place. Who wants to be around someone who’s depressed or acts it all the time? I am sure that it is not I.
The Eyes to the Ground
You know them as we have all seen them. Those people that keep their eyes pointed in the direction of the sidewalk. And again No, I am not speaking of those people that walk around sending text messages all day. Though those people are also speaking a language to their outside world. I’m talking about the people hat would rather stare at a piece of garbage on the sidewalk than look you in the eye. Mainly because they may get a smile or worse, a “Hello.” Obviously they are telling a tale of “I’m extremely shy.” or “I don’t want to be noticed so I will just try and fly under the radar as much as I can.”
The Feet Daggers
Everyone has heard them at least once in their life. Scuffing the bottom of their shoes or footwear on the floor as they walk. These people put off a radiant “I’m lazy” type attitude. Lets face it’s if you’re too lazy to pick up your feet while walking, why would you feel energized to do much more?
Better Posture for Clearer Speaking
Though I have only given a couple of examples to the negative of how body language speaks to the world, there are many ways where body language can be on a more positive note.
The Confident
These are usually the people who walk in to a room with their head held high, their back straight and a confident walk, being sure to pick their feet off the ground completely before placing it forward. These are the type of people you may notice right away. They don’t have to dress in expensive clothes or be super model sexy. What makes them so much more interesting, more noticeable? They exhume what it is that everyone wants, an air of confidence.
What I have found in my studies is that people are more likely attracted to another person who speaks of confidence/openness with their bodies. They are more likely to be chosen for a job over other interviewers, more likely to get more things or even better customer service from retail vendors.
What Language Do You Speak
Understand that I have only listed a few examples of what can be considered an exhausting amount. There are so many different ways to speak with your body (frown face, shoulders slouched, etc.) and with a little effort you will find some easier to spot then others. The reason this article was created was not so that your intuition of other peoples attributes to be realized but actually to study oneself.
For instance, how do you go into work? Do you walk into your office with your head raised high and with a confident stride in your step or do you drag yourself into work cause you had a rough morning or dislike your position?
One quick exercise is to look in the mirror and study how you hold yourself. Are your lips pursed showing signs of pent up aggression, do you frown your brow, or is your face open and cheerful? Are you shoulders slanted forward, hips straight? Try different positions to see which you find more attractive. By making yourself more aware of your body stance you could be changing not only how others see you but also how you feel about yourself.
Remember that your attitude on life and your day help to create the world around you and how people interact with you. If you take it on with confidence, you are more likely to get more of what you want and better responses not only from strangers but also loved ones.
I would love to hear from you what it is that you see when you look into the mirror. Please leave a comment and let me know.
Wonderful insight.